think.

so let's just say i have been away thinking. a lot has gone on in the month of may, and i guess you could say it lead to a personal "shut-down". just some space, time to breathe, time to clear my head, time to help, time to think. it is not as if there has not been stuff to talk or write about, but i think in life we just all need a break sometimes and maybe my month of may was it. every now and then i often find i am at a loss for words to describe a certain way that i am feeling, or thinking. the other week i came across the above quote and it was like, "aaahhh...FINALLY some sweet inspiration". i just LOVE this. thank you for re-energizing my heart. right now i am just in between a lot of things. photography, projects, wellness, weddings etc. it has been really good and for the first time in a while i just am feeling really content. not necessarily caught up by any means, but just content. today i actually took 20 minutes and just laid outside on the grass. i closed my eyes and really listened to the wind, the birds, the calm. it was so nice and i just truly felt grateful for that moment. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif grateful that the sun was out, grateful that their was a beautiful breeze to compliment and ride on it's rays. happy that i had the afternoon to do that and blessed that i took the chance to do so. happy is also an upcoming celebration. one of my best friends will be getting married in a few short weeks and i cannot be happier, or luckier, that i get to be a part of her big day and watch her become a brand new wife. it is a very exciting time and i am really looking forward to the big day. i have also been busy posting some photography love on my life artistry photography blog. beautiful families celebrating themselves, one of my most favorite things. :)

welcome may.

welcome may, i am happy you are here. it really does seem so surreal how we are already in the month of may. for the record, 2011 has really been going at warp speed. the days and months passing by so quickly that at times i feel like before i can even get a grasp and handle on the month that it is, poof...it is over. the next month quickly takes up it's place and so life goes on. the past few days have been very difficult to process. a family that i know lost one of their loved ones. at a very young age and in a very tragic way. it has been so surreal to even begin to understand how things like this happen. why. such a popular word and question for so many, yet at the same time so powerless and useless at a time of such sadness. no one knows why. this whole event has really had me thinking over the past few days about everything. about the present, about life, about dreams and hopes, about plans. about the fact that we are all here on borrowed time and when that time has to be given back...so hard to comprehend. so as much as i look forward to a brand new month it is with such sadness and confusion in my heart. right now, more than ever i am thankful for many things. for LIFE, for breath, for extra time, the extra daylight with sunshine. for apples and fresh veggies, for cold water and my running shoes. for stretching and yoga, for journaling, for friendships.

spring.

oh i how loved this weekend. the pace, the sunshine, the birds outside, the meals. it was so good. i loved how it was full of spontaneous unplanned things. the conversations, the visits, the mood. it was a beautiful weekend and it makes me feel like spring is on it's way (finally!). today i even had a late afternoon nap, which was truly such a treat. this weekend was full of so much goodness and gratitude. for the people in my life, the connections we share and the moments that we create together. it just is, and i love that. it is sometimes so easy to forget all that we have in such a fast paced materialistic world that influences in sometimes not the best ways. with so many distractions i often feel that it is a constant struggle to maintain focus and attention on the things i know matter. they can often get blurred in the dust and shadow of everything else. but i will continue to persevere and push forward and turn away the negative forces and influences that try to make their way towards me. life is full of little moments everyday that are just simply awesome. as the last week of april approaches i am excited for it. it is going to be a great busy week ahead.

picture on my wall.

i received this photo as a gift from my best friends years ago. a photo of new york. looking back it is funny how things work out and you do not even realize it at the moment. back then i guess i would have labeled myself as intuitive. but maybe, not really aware that i was? in any case, i have just always been so fascinated with visiting this city one day. this picture has been displayed on my wall since 2002 and i look at it everyday. it is also a very significant picture for me because not only was it bought for me for my birthday by my best friends, but it was bought at a time in my life when i was going through a very difficult time (or so i thought) in my life. since then i have always thought, "one day...i will be there". kind of that bucket list deal. well, low and behold 9 years later on my birthday i receive the most amazing and spectacular words-cannot-even-express-moment from my husband...a trip to new york! right now at this very moment i am just trying to process the whole thing. it is really coming true for me! i am such a believer now in intuition, and on cultivating and manifesting your life, but did i know much about that 9 years ago? not really...maybe i was just not conscious of it but it was happening all along? such a mystery to me...but so sweet all at the same time. i guess on of the most beautiful parts of this whole moment for me is witnessing the connection and unfolding of being married to someone who helps me achieve my dreams. someone who cares about my heart, and my goals, and my thoughts, and my hopes. my "one day i will..." kind of thing. and i guess the best part is that it is not even the big deals where i am bearing witness to this sort of thing. it is the everyday unnoticed moments that also serve to make my dreams come true. the whole package. it takes my breath away and makes me so grateful to have found such a beautiful person to share my life with. of course it is real life, and we all know how UN-glamorous it can be...but i guess the beauty and mystery of this world lies in finding those hidden moments and really looking beyond to find those sparkling times. i am so excited for this upcoming trip. to see, and be, and do all that i have dreamed of and looked forward to. i just cannot wait to stand in central park...look to my left, look to my right, look down at my feet planted firmly on the ground and say to myself, "i am here".

awake and here.

wow. so ok...it is already almost mid april. seriously, i know i say it all the time but WHERE oh where has it gone? this is crazy. i guess i know where it has gone. between life and work and all the oh so good extra, that is just the way it goes. feeling pretty excited for spring, the extra sunlight, the spring run off...birds singing in the morning. so awesome. also getting ready for some busy weekends ahead. my 29th birthday (eeek!) is just one week away...gosh. seriously? i honestly can close my eyes and remember what i thought when i was 15 at this very moment. the thought of being 29 seemed sooooo far away. i would always sit back, wonder and imagine what my life would be like at that age. what the world would be like. and now...was it what i thought it was going to be? am i where i should be? life for the most part is pretty awesome. i am feeling probably the strongest i have been. both mentally and emotionally. after having a somewhat rougher year last year it is so refreshing and such a blessing to be where i am right now. for that i am truly grateful. i am so happy too that i have been really sticking with my new years promises in maintaining, sustaining and working hard to strengthening myself with exercise, proper eating, mindful living and practicing daily gratitude. so far, so good. and i truly do feel so much better for it. there are so many great things to be looking forward to this year that i have to keep inspired, stay strong and focused. there have been so many things on my mind that i could sit and type for hours. but it is late. it was a long week and my bed is calling my name. excited for an awesome saturday tomorrow!

on my nightstand.

there is just something awesome about a good book. and luckily, i have 3 awesome books on the go that i just had to share. sometimes in a world that can feel so isolating at times, especially when you can feel like there is no one out there that really get's where you are coming from or thinking the thoughts that you do, it is so comforting to find a book that speaks your language, mirrors your thoughts and just makes you feel NOT alone. so for anyone out there looking for an amazing book or something to bring comfort, entertainment, peace of mind, escape and moments of bliss these 3 books of mine are just perfect for that. "a new earth, by ekhart tolle", "committed, by elizabeth gilbert" and "the happiness project, by gretchen rubin". all different types of stories, all different types of topics but one commonality...and that is embracing and celebrating life. all it's quirks, it's ups, it's downs, it's adventures. all of it. such good stuff. thankful, so thankful for that.

loved this.

GRATITUDE: "there is not enough room in the human heart for depression and gratitude at the same time."

thank you.

right now i am so tired. just tired. like many of you can relate i am sure it has been a long winter. i am not only tired for me, but just tired for everyone else too who has been struggling and dealing with so many challenges. i am tired for you too. i just keep praying that tomorrow will be a better day and that we are only to look forward to bigger and brighter days ahead right? right now i am also thankful. for so many things. i do not think there is anything more powerful out there than just being grateful and feeling the moment. this week my amazing husband and best friend surprised me with a wonderful valentines day. usually i am not one to really emphasize a "holiday" (if that's what you call it) such as valentines day. however it was really sweet and just made me feel SO thankful to observe and appreciate and embrace what my husband took time to do for me. even on his last day off before starting a VERY long work shift, instead of spending his last hours on himself he spent them preparing me supper and surprises and well...let's just say we all learn valuable lessons often and he taught me a BIG one that day. actions TRULY speak louder than words and things, and i am so so so appreciative of it all. he never ceases to amaze me. even after all of these years. beautiful things come from his heart. that is what captivates me every day. so amidst all of my tiredness, and feelings of being overwhelmed at times life is GOOD, oh so good...and i never take that for granted. thank YOU for loving me.

little reflections.

welcome february. i am really looking forward to this month. no specific reason why, i just am excited. maybe because that means one more winter month is just that further behind, or that perhaps spring is one month closer. in any case, i am optimistic that it is going to be a great month of 'embracing'. january for me ended on a very high note. matt surprised me with a jacuzzi suite at the fantasy land hotel. we had the best time just shopping around, treating ourselves, sharing an awesome meal at moxies restaurant and simple reconnecting. for both of us the winter is such a busy and stressful time at work so it is nice to just escape for a few days and enjoy some real treats and simple pleasures. we had such a nice time. we also helped celebrate a new beginning and attended a beautiful wedding. we literally danced the night away and had so much fun. i am also looking forward to a wonderful weekend ahead as my amazing and beautiful cousins are coming down to spend some quality time. i absolutely adore times like these.

embrace. {my one little word}

since it is almost the end of january, i was just going to touch base with my one little word project. this year, i chose the word embrace and i think it is the perfect word for this year. so far, there have been numerous things to happen and i have really been trying to comprehend and understand them all. i have found that by changing the way i think about them, to embrace them, has really enabled me to the beginning level of acceptance and hopefully true understanding. this project is really wonderful and i am looking forward to having a completed journal by the end of 2011 reflecting and documenting all that i have consciously 'embraced' within my year. i chose the word embrace because i really believe that acceptance and embracing situations for what they are are vital steps to achieving inner peace. i may not always understand a situation fully, but if i can work to embracing it for what it is and look beneath and realize that i can embrace and accept it...then maybe it will work to bring about more peace within, rather than anxiety. i have also been working to embrace my 'creative' drive and have been slowly working on some layouts of events last year for my album. this layout is documenting the trip matt and i took in september. looking back for some reason this trip seems so far away so i am thankful that i have these memories in a safe place where i can go back and relive such a special time. i am also loving using a bunch of photos on a layout...i am really loving the collage style. i think it is a great way to tell a story, capture a bunch of photos on one page, and i just think it looks cute! i am looking forward to embracing next month, completing the next part of our project and seeing what is in store. i really love the whole 'one little word' concept and encourage anyone and everyone to try it. of course you do not have to do it as a scrapbook type album or project, but it is a neat way to hang on and work towards bringing something positive into your life. something to focus on and work towards. i always think how amazing it is how the things you focus and concentrate on in your life are brought back to you in various ways. just a thought!